Prohibition Music: "How are you goin' to wet your whistle?"

Here's a fun piece of history from the Library of Congress's National Jukebox. When drinkers knew the Prohibition writing was on the wall, they didn't take things lying down. "How Are You Goin' to Wet Your Whistle (When the Whole Damn World Goes Dry)" was recorded in early 1919, before the whole damn world did go dry.





Lyrics:


Ev'rybody seems to talk of prohibition,
And what they'll drink when evrything is dry,
How're you goin' to get around this new condition,
And keep a happy twinkle in your eye?
It's very easy now to get a drink,
But tell me did you ever stop and think?

How are you goin' to wet your whistle,
When the whole darn world goes dry?
What are you goin' to do in the morning,
When you need a nip to open up your eye?
Now what of the wedding and the christening,
And the wake when your dear friends die,
Oh, How are you goin' to wet your whistle
When the whole darn world goes dry?

Ne'er again will any man be late for dinner,
They'll never miss the train at five fifteen,
All the fleshy boys will fade and grow much thinner,
And ev'ryone will be a candy fiend
If they pack the soda fountains to the doors,
And turn the bars all into dry goods stores.

How are you goin' to wet your whistle,
When the whole darn world goes dry?
What are you goin' to do in the morning,
When you need a nip to open up your eye?
We took this country from the Indians,
They can have it back again in July,
Oh, How are you goin' to wet your whistle,
when the whole darn world goes dry?